im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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