I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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