peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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