She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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