As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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