My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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