I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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