so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
