Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
