i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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