Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
