He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
