I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
