You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
