I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
