question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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