I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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