I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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