weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
