you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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