is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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