Christians are straight up FREAKS
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Randomize
