Kiss
Puke
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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