we have pet lesbian snakes
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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