Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!