Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised