Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
