it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize