Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone. http://tfl.nu/vfbd
  Replies (40) Good night (14467) Bad night (1731)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"... http://tfl.nu/2wkl
  Replies (487) Good night (176804) Bad night (7702)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  fucking a dude

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i mean: fucking a, dude

  (703): View more from Virginia

  wow, that comma made all the difference there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): fucking a dude (703): i mean: fucking a, dude (703): wow, that comma made all the difference there http://tfl.nu/2m4f
  Replies (93) Good night (11556) Bad night (1257)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow http://tfl.nu/ea94
  Replies (236) Good night (66422) Bad night (3012)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments http://tfl.nu/peng
  Replies (7) Good night (6037) Bad night (853)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship. http://tfl.nu/tvch
  Replies (8) Good night (951) Bad night (3346)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss. http://tfl.nu/sd0l
  Replies (11) Good night (4849) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech http://tfl.nu/bl5m
  Replies (25) Good night (4630) Bad night (1487)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting http://tfl.nu/9m8j
  Replies (5) Good night (4062) Bad night (1168)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (814): i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me http://tfl.nu/y6ou
  Replies (16) Good night (4035) Bad night (1230)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up. http://tfl.nu/dab6
  Replies (9) Good night (3644) Bad night (881)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (931): i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome http://tfl.nu/562n
  Replies (5) Good night (1735) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock. http://tfl.nu/zgub
  Replies (7) Good night (1609) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair. http://tfl.nu/ft15
  Replies (5) Good night (886) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night http://tfl.nu/a1cb
  Replies (1) Good night (404) Bad night (283)

Randomize