Texts From Last Night

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  (517): View more from Michigan

  sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.

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  (517): sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him. http://tfl.nu/vixo
  Replies (13) Good night (3559) Bad night (666)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding

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  (443): You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding http://tfl.nu/vxqr
  Replies (51) Good night (767) Bad night (7274)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.

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  (443): My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve. http://tfl.nu/bc9v
  Replies (18) Good night (1157) Bad night (6722)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.

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  (901): If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week. http://tfl.nu/qgby
  Replies (37) Good night (3840) Bad night (1624)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can

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  (919): I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer (919): Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can http://tfl.nu/61hu
  Replies (4) Good night (1587) Bad night (982)
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  (415): View more from California

  Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends

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  (415): Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends http://tfl.nu/sp4r
  Replies (1) Good night (1002) Bad night (775)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?

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  (828): Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight? http://tfl.nu/35kg
  Replies (10) Good night (764) Bad night (2625)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I feel like death gave me a hand job

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  (505): I feel like death gave me a hand job http://tfl.nu/81uy
  Replies (12) Good night (562) Bad night (1572)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.

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  (651): It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face. http://tfl.nu/y5ia
  Replies (11) Good night (1561) Bad night (844)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.

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  (520): This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings. http://tfl.nu/9nj8
  Replies (6) Good night (1786) Bad night (470)
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  (916): View more from California

  When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off

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  (916): When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong. (1-916): Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off http://tfl.nu/emwi
  Replies (3) Good night (1323) Bad night (518)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?

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  (520): Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!? http://tfl.nu/m57n
  Replies (3) Good night (696) Bad night (412)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.

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  (973): i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls. http://tfl.nu/jxeo
  Replies (5) Good night (625) Bad night (253)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.

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  (305): Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge. http://tfl.nu/xogn
  Replies (1) Good night (185) Bad night (458)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.

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  (712): My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain. http://tfl.nu/1h8o
  Replies (4) Good night (308) Bad night (308)

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