Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize