You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
