Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Someone signed my nipple.
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