What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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