Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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