im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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