i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Randomize
