Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
