just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
