He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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