i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
