You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
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We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
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