We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
