Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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