he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Holy shit dude........stairs
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