I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
