Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
