there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize