my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
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I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I need to wash the frat house off of me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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