dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
