How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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