You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
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you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
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New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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