I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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