I'm fucking your sister right now.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂