Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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