he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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