You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS