Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
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So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.