My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
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Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night