He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The best revenge is premature balding
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.