maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Someone shit on the floor
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
