This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
