Just cropdusted the office
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize