So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
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