So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
