my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize