The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
